Due to a surplus of stupendously bad children and the ever-increasing price of coal, Santa has been forced to declare bankruptcy. Asked for a quote, Santa had the following to say:
Well, we’ve been trying like heck to avoid this for the past few years but we just can’t ignore the sad truth that this will be our last Christmas.
We just got our latest bank statements and, after reconciling with projected costs through the end of this year, we can’t see a future for Claus, Inc. We considered buyouts, IPOs and taking out a second mortgage on the North Pole but decided we’d rather shut ‘er down than see the old girl fall under outside control either now or in the future.
We’re all terribly sad to see it go this way; it’s been a great ride. We’d like to thank everyone that made it possible for us to stay in business for so long. If anyone knows of a good home for nine immortal reindeer, please let us know.
danelabonte 